


The Perfect Size

by blankie



Category: Real Steel (2011)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Mourning, Trans Male Character, Trans Max Kenton
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 20:29:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20141521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blankie/pseuds/blankie
Summary: Sometimes, Max thinks that he's too small.





	The Perfect Size

Sometimes Max thinks that he’s too small.

He’s too small to save his mom – when she leaves that night she tells him that no, he can’t come, because it’s a school night and he needs his rest. If Max was bigger, he could have gone with her and then maybe she’d be alive. Max doesn’t know how he would have stopped the drunk driver from drinking, or how he would have stopped the semi-truck from swerving, but _he would have_. If only he was bigger.

Then, he’s too small to have any say in the custody case. Maybe he _doesn’t_ want to go with Aunt Debra, has anyone thought of that? Or Marvin, who can never remember his name and messes up his pronouns one too many times. Maybe Max wants to be put with a different family – nobody would know, because he’s too small and nobody asks. If only he was bigger – then they’d ask, he knows it.

When he falls down the cliff in the junkyard he’s too small to save himself, and that stings. So, he ends up being clutched by Charlie, the man he’s only just met and who never cared about him his entire life. Max doesn’t want to depend on Charlie, because he’s not Max’s _dad_. As far as Max is concerned, Charlie is just a babysitter. A rude, robot fighting babysitter that Max has to depend on because _he’s too small_. If he was bigger, he could have saved himself.

Max takes the fight in the zoo and he _wins_, but he knows what everyone there is thinking the whole time. They think that he’s too little to fight, too small to be in this dingy pit filled with some of the most suspicious people that can be found in the sunlight. It pisses him off because Max _chose_ to take the fight, he _chose_ to challenge their best and baddest, and _it worked out_. If only Max was bigger, then they’d finally see what he can do.

Things are good for a while – Atom even makes it to the World Robot Boxing League! And then Lemkova offers to buy Atom and Max is reminded of how small he is all over again. She doesn’t take him seriously, he can tell, and it’s all because he’s a _kid_. And then Charlie tries to take her deal even though Atom is _Max’s _robot and it takes all of Max’s words and volume to shut him up. Charlie stops but Max can tell he think’s it’s dumb – he doesn’t trust Max. If only Max was bigger, then they’d _have_ to take him seriously.

Then Charlie leaves. Charlie leaves, and Max is forced to come to terms with everything he’s ever thought or felt about his father. The leaving is familiar – the problem is that, this time, Max knows what’s missing out on. He knows what Charlie’s hugs feel like and he knows how Charlie will laugh at most of his jokes, even the not funny ones. Maybe if he was bigger he could stop his dad from leaving, but instead the words get caught inside his lungs and he doesn’t know how to express the enormity of whatever this feeling is. Because Max knows he’s small, all right. He knows that no matter how much he pretends he’ll never be big, and that all of this is so much bigger than he is. So, he yells, and he _tries_, but he doesn’t think it’s enough. He was too small to save his mom, too, so is this really surprising? If only Max was bigger, then maybe Charlie would want him.

Then Charlie comes back, and they get the Zeus fight. And Max starts to think that maybe, being small isn’t too bad.

Because if Max was bigger, he wouldn’t have the view of Charlie that he does now. He wouldn’t be able to see the light in his dad’s eyes and the way he dances at the edge of the ring. This angle is perfect because it’s _Max’s_, and no one else’s. No one else can see Charlie in the exact way Max does now. Max preserves this moment to memory and tries hard to blink away the tears that threaten to fall down his face.

If Max was bigger, then he wouldn’t be able to sit on Charlie’s shoulder like he is now. He wouldn’t have this view of the audience chanting Atom’s name, or the view of Lemkova and Mashido walking away in defeat. It turns out, he’s the perfect size for the World Robot Boxing League.

There are so many things that Max realizes he only gets because he’s small. Little things that all got caught in what had felt like the world collapsing after his mother’s death. If he was big, he wouldn’t be able to get this _exact_ hug from his dad, and that would suck because this hug is _perfect_. If Max was bigger, Bailey wouldn’t be able to ruffle his hair like she always does and is doing now in the aftermath of their victory. If Max was bigger, he couldn’t dance with Atom on stage.

If Max was bigger, he wouldn’t have found Atom at all – he would have died.

And then Max realizes that, actually, he’s the perfect size.

The perfect size for Charlie’s arms to wrap around, the perfect height for Bailey’s hand, and the perfect size for Atom to save.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos greatly appreciated!!
> 
> this is like, my favourite movie so i had to write something for it. im probably gonna write more too


End file.
